


Nothing Can Kill the Way to Love

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cruelty, M/M, Oral Sex, Rebound Sex, Rough Sex, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 14:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14523102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He hated asking for help. He hated proving himself weak, but that night he had decided he didn’t care about his pride, because there was no room for it, because he would’ve worried about it just when the bitter taste of that day would’ve finally gone away.And Hikaru, he knew it, was the right man to call now.





	Nothing Can Kill the Way to Love

That night, Yabu had gotten out of the apartment without even worrying about where he was going.

He had walked, and walked, and walked, aimlessly.

At some point he had stopped, brushing his hands over his face and rubbing his eyes, as if he needed to wake up, to take stock of the situation.

To do anything that wasn’t thinking about that day, because he didn’t have the strength for it.

He abruptly took his phone out of his pocket, dialling Hikaru’s number.

He nervously waited for him to pick up, wondering what was taking him so long.

_“Kota? What’s wrong?”_

The elder sighed, biting his lip.

“Is this a bad time? I’m close to your place, and I wanted to know if... you know, if I could come.” he asked, hesitating.

He hated asking for help. He hated proving himself weak, but that night he had decided he didn’t care about his pride, because there was no room for it, because he would’ve worried about it just when the bitter taste of that day would’ve finally gone away.

And Hikaru, he knew it, was the right man to call now.

The younger hesitated only for a moment, probably wondering what had brought him to call at that time to ask to come over, but in the end he said there was no problem at all.

Kota hung up, feeling slightly better.

He wasn’t going to put that feeling of frustration and rage to rest.

But, at least, he could do something to vent.

 

~

 

When Hikaru had come to the door, he had likely realised straight away there was something wrong.

The clues, after all, weren’t lacking. Yabu knew he looked very little happy.

But, if Hikaru had sensed something, he hadn’t asked any question.

Yabu wouldn’t have known how to answer, anyway; he didn’t want to, just like he didn’t want to explain how they had ended up against the living room’s wall, one against another, kissing violently.

Hikaru had taken note of it, and Kota hadn’t doubted for a second that he would’ve.

He pulled away enough to take the younger’s shirt off, then started kissing him again, touching every inch of that naked skin, biting his neck hard enough to leave marks, while the other was having a hard time catching up, and more than actually doing something he just endured the other’s attacks.

Kota kissed him a while longer, before grabbing his hips and exchange positions, leaning against the fall and swiftly undoing his belt and zip, pushing on Hikaru’s shoulder to make him kneel in front of him.

He didn’t need to say anything, because Hikaru leant over on his own, wrapping his mouth around the elder’s cock, licking the shaft slowly, too much for Yabu’s taste.

He brought his hand through his hair, holding tight and thrusting his hips to meet the warmth of his mouth, losing himself in the feeling of Hikaru’s tongue on him, the tip of his own cock brushing his throat, feeling him choke and not caring about it at all.

But still that wouldn’t do, he couldn’t erase from his mind those thoughts that he would’ve so much liked to leave outside Hikaru’s door.

Irritated, he pulled out from his mouth, letting him back on his feet and pushing him face against the wall.

He went behind him, pressing his chest against his back and kissing him again, biting his shoulders, while his hands clawed his hips, holding him so tight to draw blood.

And if Hikaru had hoped for a minimum of caution on his part, he had severely miscalculated.

Yabu pressed himself against him, barely brushing his fingers over his entrance before resting his forehead against the younger’s nape, grabbing a hold of his own cock and pushing inside of him in one swift movement.

Hikaru screamed.

And he relished that scream, because he wanted to hurt him, to hear him, to unleash his frustration on that pleading body.

He pulled almost all the way out before pushing inside again, and then again and again, until Hikaru’s whimpers turned into moans, until he wrapped his hand around his own cock, seeking that pleasure that Yabu had no interest in giving him.

When Yaotome came the elder felt that body become even tighter around him, and he could do nothing to resist climaxing himself, making an animal-like sound, sinking his teeth in Hikaru’s shoulder while he spilled inside of him.

He didn’t linger, then. He pulled out, fixing his clothes quickly, collapsing on the couch as if nothing had happened.

Hikaru instead, stayed still against the wall, slipping on the floor and breathing deeply, trying to recover.

He stared at the elder with an unreadable face, maybe just a little sad, but Yabu didn’t bother caring.

“What’s happened, Kota?” he asked then, as soon as he could catch his breath.

“Nothing. I just wanted to have sex. And it didn’t seem like you were complaining much, right?” he replied, sourly.

The other boy nodded, standing up and going toward the couch, limping a little.

He collapsed next to him, resting his head on his chest and softly caressing his leg.

“Fine. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I’m here, don’t worry.” he said, calm, as if he was afraid of the other’s reaction.

Yabu made a spiteful sound, but didn’t pull away from his touch.

“I’m fine, Hikaru, thanks.”

He wasn’t.

He wasn’t fine, but he wasn’t going to show him more than he had already done.

He knew Hikaru would’ve loved to have him talk, he knew he would’ve soothed him, and that he would’ve been a shoulder to cry on.

He knew Hikaru would’ve done basically anything for him, and that night he had just decided to not give a damn about the respect he had felt for him up until now, and taking advantage of his eternal willingness toward him.

Hikaru would’ve wanted something else entirely from him.

After that animalistic way of taking him, he still would’ve wanted for Yabu to tell him he loved him, that it was there he always had wanted to be, he would’ve wanted to hear all those things he had always only imagined, but Kota wasn’t going to tell him.

Yabu could love.

He had proved it during the years, he had hidden his love inside, always from a distance, he had made it something to treasure and had always waited for the right moment to make it something more than something to keep away.

But he had waited too long, and what had been the most beautiful thing he owned had rotten, and he had been left with nothing in his hands.

Kota could love. But it wasn’t Hikaru’s heart he needed.

_“I love you, Kei. I’ve always loved you.”_

And he had loved him since they had been kids, since the younger had started gravitating around him with that lost stare, since he had realized how much he liked seeing him every day, having him in his life.

But he had lacked courage or confidence, and the wish to confess that love had turned into a secret to keep, until it had become too heavy to be born.

_“Ko, I’m sorry. But I love Daiki, me and him, we are...”_

He hadn’t wanted to hear more than that.

He wasn’t going to stand it.

Kota had waited too long, and had lost his chance.

He had gotten rid of that feeling he had hidden so well during the years, and now there was no way he was getting it back.

He couldn’t only seek shelter in what he already knew, in something that wasn’t a leap in the darkness, something that wasn’t going to hurt him, that wasn’t going to make him feel that sharp pain in his chest.

Hikaru had always been clay under his hands, and that night he had chosen to shape him so that he could’ve healed that pain, or at least give him the sensation it was gone, even just for the time of a fuck.

If what the other wanted was love, it wasn’t his problem.

He wasn’t going to get his happy ending, so Hikaru wasn’t either.

Because Kota could love, he _knew_ how to. But he needed Kei’s heart to do it.

Without it, then he wasn’t going to allow himself to feel anything anymore.

He was empty. That was all he could’ve offered Hikaru.

And he was going to take it, because it was still better than nothing.


End file.
